Rolls Royce Baby (1975)

Very rare non-Jess Franco Lina Romay film directed by Erwin Dietrich, Rolls Royce Baby carries a basic storyline, but its entire purpose is simply to marvel at the beauty and uninhibited abandon of the magnificent Ms. Romay, who has never looked as tantalisingly tempting as she does here. Roaming around gorgeous countryside in a chauffeur-driven vintage limousine, Lina drapes herself naked across the rear passenger upholstery, making herself available for any fortunate stray hiker the vehicle should happen to pass. Although a grim flashback scene involving a pair of unsavoury truck drivers towards the end offers a psychological explanation for Lina's nymphomania, this seems present merely to appease the conventional viewer who requires everything to be nicely spelled out, unable to handle such an abstract and star-focused approach to the art of film. For the remainder of us, this movie is like your favourite painting brought to life.

Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire (1971)

Count Dracula (Jim Parker) sends three of his vampire women into the Las Vegas night to have sex with men and collect their "vile red blood". Meanwhile, Dr. Van Helsing helps his friend Bill find the cause of his sister's mysterious death, in which her blood had been drained. In the process, he and Bill discover Dracula's hide-out and chase him into the deadly rays of the sun.

Surprise! Here’s a triple-XXX, no-budget, Hardcore Horror comedy from cult maverick Ray Dennis Steckler (hiding under his Sinthia, The Devil Doll nom de plume, "Sven Christian".)

Mad Love Life of a Hot Vampire stars Jim Parker, a real-life Las Vegas TV horror host who, as "The Vegas Vampire," hosted the Saturday night Creature Features on KVVU Channel 5 from the mid-60s to the mid-70s. Here he’s a cornball Count Dracula who emerges from his coffin, tweaks the titties of his long-fanged vampire babes (one of whom has trouble not laughing) and urges then to love each other ("Bend over, forward, and backward, all of you and your entire parts!") as his gooney, Dwight Frye-faced servant furiously whacks away. This guy's so crazed, and his expressions so hilarious, that he looks like the ultimate Something Weird customer!)

The Sexpert (1972)

Can any man be a great lover? Does every man possess a "special something that makes him irresistible to women?" That’s the question answered in this crackpot flick from the depths of ’70s Soft-X Smut as it follows the unlikeliest candidate for super-stud the world has ever seen: Finster Fahrquart, The Sexpert.

Finster -- who looks like Buster Keaton’s seedy twin -- doesn’t know the first thing about seducing and satisfying a woman and, instead, mugs and pratfalls his way through a series of sexual episodes involving a titty bar, a computer date with a blonde bombshell, a hayseed honey, a lonely virgin in the park, a married woman in a grocery store, three massage parlor girls, and even an orgy complete with shag rugs, body painting, reefer, and snakes. Each encounter plays like an old stag joke and Finster, like the silent-screen comedian he’s imitating, never utters a word.