Can any man be a great lover? Does every man possess a "special something that makes him irresistible to women?" That’s the question answered in this crackpot flick from the depths of ’70s Soft-X Smut as it follows the unlikeliest candidate for super-stud the world has ever seen: Finster Fahrquart, The Sexpert.
Finster -- who looks like Buster Keaton’s seedy twin -- doesn’t know the first thing about seducing and satisfying a woman and, instead, mugs and pratfalls his way through a series of sexual episodes involving a titty bar, a computer date with a blonde bombshell, a hayseed honey, a lonely virgin in the park, a married woman in a grocery store, three massage parlor girls, and even an orgy complete with shag rugs, body painting, reefer, and snakes. Each encounter plays like an old stag joke and Finster, like the silent-screen comedian he’s imitating, never utters a word.
But he doesn’t have to. The big-haired, big-boobed babes available for banging say it all, especially when baring their bods for a slow burn or a double take. Finster’s ineptitude, however, is truly staggering until, at the end, he finally finds that special something that absolutely, positively, make him utterly irresistible to women: a cashiers check for a million bucks.
Boinnnnng! Suddenly, Finster’s a babe-magnet!
The sex scenes range from comic coitus interruptus to raunchy softcore to almost porn. Along the way, look out for All-American Smut legends RENE BOND, LILLY FOSTER, SANDI CAREY, and RIC LUTZE, among others, who provide tutelary "examples" for the hapless Finster. You’ll love every minute of this moron’s education. From a 35mm masters-degree-in-poon print.
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